found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.