so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize