Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid