do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
wow bdsm is so cute
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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