White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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