areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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