six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
