chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
