I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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