I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
