if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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