I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
