you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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