I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
