is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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