My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
