can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
