Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
