How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
