hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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