For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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