is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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