Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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