ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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