Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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