My sheets look like a crime scene.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
