I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It's never too late to be topless.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
