So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
