All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
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Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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