I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
