How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
