My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do vagina's smell?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize