So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
