Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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