I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
