TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
