Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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