my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize