I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
