He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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