I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
