marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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