I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
