I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
