she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
