some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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