i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
