does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
