oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
