2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
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Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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