the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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