brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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