Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
