Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So much rum. So many feels.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I forget how to act sober
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
