I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
