Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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