i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
