i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
