I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
